


13 Beaches

by duchess_black



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Beaches, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Flashbacks, Get Together, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Marauders, Potterverse, Remus remembers, Scotland, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin - Freeform, a little sad, lana del rey - Freeform, remus lupin - Freeform, scottish coast, sirius black - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 08:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14328750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duchess_black/pseuds/duchess_black
Summary: Six years after the events of Godric's Hollow, Remus Lupin finds himself in a northern Scotland coastal town when he remembers a pivotal moment in his life happened in a location not so far away.A certain beach on the coastline holds special, if not bittersweet, memories for him. All he needs to do is find it.Inspired by Lana Del Rey's song '13 Beaches'.*written by the author who brought you 'A Man's Magic'*





	13 Beaches

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! God I love this song so much so I decided it needed to inspire me. Ha ha! If you've never heard it before please look it up. It is beautiful. 
> 
> Anyway please let me know what you think of this. I'm nervous!
> 
> https://youtu.be/y6O16oWzD-s

<https://youtu.be/y6O16oWzD-s>

13 Beaches

 

The sky was bluer than Remus had ever seen and seemed to stretch much wider than he had seen it do in any city, town or village he had been to before. He knew that was a ridiculous notion as a sky was a sky in any setting but it was a major clue that he had got the right place this time. The last time he had been here, he had literally landed straight on the spot with no clue of the beach’s surroundings. This time he was travelling by car and it was for this reason why finding this place had become such a big guessing game.

  
He had found himself on some business in both Inverness and then Scrabster, which was a lot more northernly than he had intended on travelling to but he had been offered a job of riding the harbour of a mysterious beast which had turned out to be an elderly merman who hadn’t the energy to swim back to its colony much further into the North Atlantic. In the end Remus had to resort to stunning the poor creature; from there they had loaded it on to a small fishing boat and had taken the aging merman back out to sea where they had suspected the colony had been located. The grey skinned being had been a sight in the fishing net which had been used to plunge it back into the icy depths of the water and the way it squealed when Remus had brought it back to full consciousness as it was trapped in the net was likely to sound in his nightmares in years to come. It hadn’t been the most difficult job in the world but the conditions out at sea were unsurprisingly bitter and made the task a lot more arduous.

  
The weather had turned much better inland by the time they had disembarked the boat and it was when he was sitting in a harbour side café when a memory had collided with him. He had been staring out at the water, wondering if it was worth a trip to Dunnet Head, the true most northernly part of the country, should be on the cards. He had been reasoning to himself that he might as well since he had never been this far north before when his memory sparked to tell him that that wasn’t the case. He had been to the north of Scotland before, he just wasn’t entirely sure where.

  
Before he knew what he was doing he was walking back out to his battered Morris Marina. He had pretty much been living out of the car for a couple of years now as he moved from job to job. It served him well considering the state it was in when he had first acquired it. The only reason it was still running was because he had charmed it several different ways so that it wouldn’t break down and so that he never had to put an ounce of petrol in it. It was one of the few bits of magic he performed outside the parameters of his occupation. For almost six years now magic had lost its appeal to him and he only used it sparingly when it wasn’t required to put money in his hand. For six years now a lot of things had lost its appeal.

  
He had left Scrabster yesterday and had scoured the northern coast. He’d ended up visiting ten beaches before nightfall and not a single one had been what he was looking for. He’d had to relent when light had completely faded and slept in the back seat of the car, making sure to park away from the sight of the sea. He couldn’t sleep on a beach again. It just would never be the same again for him.

  
He had woken up at seven AM with a stiff back that told him that he had ought to have at least pitched his tent on the grass and had moved on, ducking into a small shop for breakfast when he finally came across one. The shop had a tourist map posted in a cabinet outside and it was then that he realised he was approaching the west side of the country. Something about that felt right somehow.

  
He continued in that direction and made one more stop before finally finding it. It had to be it. Not only was the sky bluer and wider than anywhere else but the lava stones of Sango Bay were unmistakable; jutting out of the water like the fins of giant beached sharks. He had been able to see them in the near distance from their alcove; just to the right, only just.

  
Remus retrieved what he was looking for from the boot of his car and made his way first through the dry grass before his feet landed on the soft sand. The scenery around him was far more bright than it should have been for the end of September; the autumn sun had come out forcefully and had it not been for the chilly breeze one might have mistaken it for summer. He moved westerly again, this time on foot along the sand with the breeze pushing him along his way. He watched the waves as he walked some; the tide was at a reasonable distance which reassured him that the next phase of his plan would be safe. The beach he was currently on was beautiful but it wasn’t _the_ beach. To get to that he’d need to apparate westerly again; not a far distance, just far enough to get past the lip of the alcove.

  
*

  
‘How the hell did you find this place again?’ the pale young werewolf asked his friend as he took in the beauty of the alcove. The sand was almost white and he knew that if he took off his battered converse it’d feel softer than any sand he had encountered before. He’d been assured that they were sticking to Scotland, being wary of his friend’s side long apparition skills but, how could this possibly be Scotland? Not only was the sand something that looked positively tropical, but the sea was gleaming in the bright sun as if it were something from the warmer climates of the pirate stories he had read as a child. ‘Where did you say this was again?’ He turned fully to face a rather pleased looking Sirius Black as he manoeuvred a rucksack off his back.

  
‘Found it when I was on the bike last summer. The day everyone panicked,’ he said squinting due to the glare of the sun. Remus remembered the day well. Sirius had only had the bike flying for about a week when he had taken it to ‘stretch its legs.’ He’d left from his Hogsmede flat, also newly acquired due its proximity to the school grounds. He’d been away hours, almost half an entire day. A panic had engulfed Remus and James so much that Mr Potter had eventually ventured through the fireplace to start co-ordinating a search party.

  
‘I’m not sure exactly where we are. I just know its north,’ he continued as he pulled his t-shirt from his back. ‘Beautiful, ain’t it?’ He asked now topless.  
Remus took in the sight before him. ‘Yeah,’ he replied weakly.

  
*

  
It was the same. The exact same. He almost couldn’t believe how untouched it was; even though it was difficult for muggles to get to. Remus looked from east to west from his position sitting on the sand and memories came flooding back to him. Not only was it physically untouched, but it still had the same calm quality it had had almost ten years ago. Only the sky wasn’t quite as brilliant as that first time; it was a shade duller, just.

  
*

  
‘Shame about the others,’ Remus steeled himself against his wandering thoughts as his friend rummaged in the backpack to pull out the shrunken tent. He checked back on the sincerity of his tone as he waited for a reply; the last thing he wanted to do was to let on how thrilled he was to be spending time alone on a secluded beach with the boy he secretly fancied.

  
That said boy simply shrugged, more forthcoming about not being bothered by their absence. ‘Pete should have thought before starting a fight with his brother. He’s a prat.’

  
‘And Prongs?’ Remus queried with a smile knowing that James wouldn’t receive the same harsh criticism.

  
A shrug again, ‘Hardly his fault Red’s birthday includes being tortured by her family for the weekend.’

  
‘Well,’ the werewolf, ‘At least there’ll be more room in the tent. Especially if it’s this hot.’  
He hadn’t been sure at the time but he had been certain he had spotted the other boy’s lips quirking briefly. He had tried to decipher it for about five seconds when he dismissed it. Sirius was a smirker. He always had been. Remus had seen it plenty of times; more recently when Sirius was in the company of Marlene McKinnon. Sirius flirted with her on a near constant basis and, much to Remus’ frustration, she flirted right back. He worked hard to supress that familiar feeling of jealousy as he pushed it from his mind. It was harder than it sounded, trying to supress a near constant feeling but he was helped when his friend done something rather unexpected.

*

  
The older werewolf chuckled at the memory of his younger self. God he had been so innocent, even as a seventeen year old. How the others hadn’t clocked on to his infatuation with the other boy sooner than they had, he had no clue.

  
*

  
Remus hadn’t known what to do. They had long grown out of this when they had hit puberty but now, in the middle of a beach in Scotland, Sirius had stripped himself of his jeans and he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Remus had tried to act as casual has he could but truth be told the sight of friend’s naked body had gotten him rather flustered. As naturally as he could he battled to keep his eyes at head level so not to rouse any suspicion or ridicule.

  
‘The water looks gorgeous,’ the naked boy conversed as he bent to retrieve something from the rucksack and like the lust filled teenager Remus was, he stole a look at the boy. His skin was already covered in a sheen of sweat, making the plane of his back look delectable and his arse…

  
‘You’d do well to get out your clothes.’ Remus darted his eyes away and then frowned at the meaning behind what had been said.

  
‘You look a little flushed in this heat mate.’ When Remus looked back towards his companion he found him to be wearing a swimming trunk and was handing him his own. He was also wearing that smirk again and this time it was accompanied by a twinkle in his eye.

  
*

  
The night sky was spectacular that evening. The absence of nearly all light save from their campfire made bright stars shine in stark contrast to their ink black backdrop. It was as if someone had refocussed the sky like one would on a camera. The sound of the nearby waves added to the serene atmosphere; a surprisingly calming noise considering it came from the forceful crash of water against the shore. The boys were lying on their backs, cushioned by the soft sand, and were simply looking up taking in the beauty of the universe which was draped above their heads.

  
‘We should do this more often. We used to do it all the time.’ Sirius added his voice to the soundtrack provided by the ocean, echoing Remus’ own thoughts.

  
‘I’m hardly the kind of person you should be taking up the astronomy tower.’ The auburn haired boy turned to face his companion.

  
Sirius’ faced contorted into a deep frown. ‘And what kind of person should I be taking up the astronomy tower?’

  
‘McKinnon.’ Remus bravely stated. He had been trying to avoid the mention of the flirtation for weeks now, scared his jealousy would be written all over his face. Yet another part of him wanted to face the issue head on to see if he needed to readjust his heartbreak a calibre or two. Perhaps his friend had already been to the astronomy tower with the blonde witch and hadn’t told anyone. Perhaps worse?

  
‘I’d much rather take you.’ He hadn’t scoffed but Remus could tell it was in his tone somewhere, hidden underneath. Not that that was what he focused on. He quickly scanned the other boy’s words; deciphering it in a million different ways and coming up with no answers less confused than he was before.

  
‘Really?’ he asked tentatively.

  
‘Really,’ the dark haired boy sat up, almost dismissively. ‘Come on, I want to go swimming again. It’s been ages since we skinny dipped too.’

  
Remus partially pushed himself up on to his elbows and frowned as he watched the determined young man stand to his feet. His thoughts continued to whirl around in his head. Sirius’ words and his dismissive tone were at odds with one another. What did it all mean? And now he wanted to go skinny dipping…. The dawning of what this meant fell leaden in Remus’ stomach. Skinny dipping meant… oh, and there Sirius was taking off his t-shirt. The werewolf swallowed heavily as his eyes took in the strip tease which was being performed casually in front of him. No less erotic was the fact that his friend had his back to him and had no clue what taking his clothes off was doing to the other teenage boy. He was enjoying the sight of the older boy pushing down his shorts, bare arse completely exposed when Sirius whipped his head round suddenly and startled him into looking at his handsome face instead of his pert, round buttocks. Flustered he had been caught, Remus was unable to speak to cover his tracks.

  
‘You coming or what?’ Maybe it was a trick of the fire light but something in the young man’s face seemed different in that moment. Remus had heard the phrase many times during their escapades at school but there was an intensity which was so potent that the werewolf felt compelled to comply.

Silently he stood to his feet and swung his top over his head. The grey eyed boy surveyed his actions still by looking over his shoulder. Remus slipped his thumbs below the waistband of his shorts and rather disappointingly, his friend turned to face the sea and began to make his way across the sand towards it.

  
Remus stumbled into the darkness behind him; keenly aware that this was how it always was. Wherever Sirius would go, Remus would follow; even into the depths of the unknown. He kept his eye on the body in front of him as the light radiated from the fire became dimmer and he forced himself to focus has the icy coldness of the sea made first contact with skin of his feet. Sirius hadn’t even flinched and was in that moment wading thigh high into the water. The werewolf watched as his body seemed to lift like a buoy. He realised that Sirius was jumping into a coming wave and that he too should do the same.

  
This was when Sirius finally turned to face him and Remus could see in the darkness that most of his hair had become wet. On an impulse of pure boyishness he pushed the surface of the water to splash him and was satisfied to see he had completely soaked the locks of hair which were almost as dark as the sky above them.

  
Retaliation was expected and welcomed. Their water fight seemed to alleviate some of the tension which had built since their walk into the water and as the waves crashed past them it brought them closer and closer together. Being in the water was exhilarating and neither held back on their attacks on one another.

  
‘You dirty cheat! You’re as bad as Prongs! That’s exactly what he tries to do!’ Sirius had spluttered when a quietly muttered spell caught him with a mini tsunami to the face. The auburn haired boy simply crowed in delight at his victory and was about to cast another spell when his opponent completely disappeared. Sirius had dived down into the water and within seconds Remus felt himself be shoved around the waist, completely putting him off his footing. He floundered a little as his friend resurfaced and with a triumphant grin.

  
‘You’ll pay for that!’ he threatened once his footing was secure and made to lunge at his attacker but Sirius was too fast. The second the werewolf pushed his body forward, the other had pushed his own back down into the water to escape him. Without a second thought, Remus submerged himself down into the depths after him.

  
It was dark, very much so but he could just about make out the form of his friend. The hazy silhouette gave the dark haired boy an ethereal quality which briefly called into question whether any of this was really happening. The otherworldliness was shattered as the underwater spectre approached him and shoved him playfully in the chest. The density of the water made his movement slower but Remus still plunged backwards a little. He had gone to retaliate back but Sirius’ hands came back towards his body. He had been anticipating another blow and was just about to raise his own hands in defence when the pale digits of his friend made contact with his torso and this time skimmed around his waist so that they came to rest on his back. Dark tendrils of hair floated in a space much closer to him now and the outline of Sirius’ features were clearer. It took a moment in the freezing water to realise that Sirius’ hands were holding him in place and as his mind caught up to that it slowly dawned on him why and before he knew it the other boy had placed his lips on top of his.

  
Remus reeled back in shock; the gasp of surprise caused him to intake the water he was submerged in. Instinct took hold and he swam for the surface. His re-emergence was far from graceful as the second he was in the cool night air he began to splutter desperately for it to fill his lungs. Sirius resurfaced with the grace of a creature who was at home in the water; like some kind of Selkie with eyes blazing with worry.

  
‘Are you okay?’ he asked. The werewolf hadn’t been sure what exactly the other boy was referring to; the fact that he had began to choke or the fact that the boy he had fancied for quite some time now had been the cause of it. Sirius had kissed him. Kissed him. And there he was bobbing in front of him; water slicked and gorgeous and most importantly: naked. Emotions overtook thoughts and the auburn haired young man surged forward to place his lips back where they belonged.

  
The kiss was pure heat in the cold water of the North Minch. He was aware of their bodies swaying with the water and they clung to one another; Sirius’ hands gripping in the werewolf’s hair as Remus kept himself anchored to the animagus’ neck. They were fervent in the exploration of one another’s mouths; tongues crashed against one another more violently than the waves crashed into the shore behind them. After a spell they pulled a part gasping for air as if they had once again plunged into the depths. Sirius dived back in briefly as a wave of water crashed into them, causing them to move closer to the beach with the swell of water.  
‘C’mon,’ he commanded closely to his lips and pulled the soaking werewolf back to the safety of land. Remus couldn’t quite work out what was happening. As always he followed his friend with unwavering loyalty; this time allowing him to tow him to land and to the promise of… what? What was going to happen? Remus knew very much what he wanted to happen but what if Sirius had other ideas? He kept his eyes on the emerging form of his friend as they left the ocean; the receding waterline revealing more and more of his exposed back until the round mounds of his arse were revealed. This sight alone caused for him to tug his friend backwards, the force causing the exposed boy to come crashing back into his body. They kissed again and with the water now only a metre so behind them, the auburn haired boy now knew exactly how it felt to have the animagus’ shivering body pressed tightly against his own.

  
Impatience led to Remus dragging his friend down on to the sand. He needed more of him; now, despite the threat of the waves. The werewolf hit the soft surface first and he pulled his friend down on top of him. They were both soaking wet, shaking from freezing sea water. Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus was aware that the entire underside of his body, his back and underarms in particularly, had become coated in sand but he didn’t care. He needed to have Sirius on top of him and covering him and to be making him feel anything except the desperate unrequited need he had been feeling for the past ten months or so. Because it wasn’t unrequited; it was very much reciprocated and it was time to give in to it now.

  
Sirius’ body was shaking on top of him and for the first few minutes of lying together they had spent time rubbing their hands up one another’s cold bodies for heat. Jittery mouth met jittery mouth in a succession of chaste-like kisses. Remus’ sand covered hands rubbed their way over the plains of his friend’s wet until the friction caused the granules to dry and slide off his skin. Gradually their limbs began to no longer shake and it was then that they deepened their kisses. Sirius’ tongue plunged down into his mouth and his sandy fingers edged their way across the expanse of his cheek. Remus had been kissed before but he had never been kissed like this. The disinherited heir devoured his lips; lapping up every movement of Remus’ tongue with his own. He could have just lain like that all night; simply kissing, but the heating of their bodies had caused their arousal to be apparent and with the first roll of Sirius’ hips, Remus knew that there was definitely something else he’d prefer to be doing.

  
Sirius gasped into his mouth as the werewolf thrust upwards and Remus followed suit on the next push of their erections together.  
‘Pads,’ he groaned and clutched at the boy’s buttocks to pull him even closer. His dark haired friend had pulled away from his mouth and had his eyes firmly closed as he concentrated on getting the rhythm just right to gain as much pleasure as possible. His black shorter black hair hung slightly in tendrils, dusted with sand and his mouth hung open as he rode the waves of pleasure which were crashing into his body. He looked beautiful; the most perfect creature in the whole universe. Little incessant groaning noises began to escape his mouth which harmonised with the panting of Remus.  
Their bodies were pressed tightly together; so tight and Remus could begin to feel in him a tightening which told him he was close to coming. He rode into that sensation mercifully and before long he was clinging to Sirius’ back as he came between their bodies. He arched into the explosion, still clinging desperately to his partner as he continued to ride on. When he had recovered his senses he slid a hand up Sirius’ back and onto his neck to pull him closer. He nuzzled him on his jaw bone as his other hand urged him to grind harder into his now sensitive cock.

  
‘Gods Moony,’ Sirius mumbled incoherently, ‘So clo… ose… I’m…’ and then he was. The sensation of Sirius letting go was a strange one. Remus could feel him pulsing on his lower abdomen and the new dampness began to make their bodies slip together in a new way.

  
The animagus boy unceremoniously flopped onto his back so that he was lying next to the werewolf and was panting wildly.

  
*

  
He had been terrified in that moment. The absence of his friend’s body on top of his own had brought a chill to his skin and the recovery of his breathing had brought about a massive recovery of his senses. What they had done in the moments before had been life changing and they had carried them out on pure impulse.

  
Remus smiled to himself at the memory of what had happened next.

  
*

  
‘Urgh!’ Sirius had cried out in disgust and for a horrified second or so the werewolf assumed the worst.

  
‘God! I’ve bloody got sand stuck to my knob!’  
The two boys had looked at one another for a beat; distaste and alarm meeting one another’s gaze and then….

  
They laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed until Sirius had cosied up to his shoulder and stifled his giggles into his shoulder.

  
The boys had stumbled to the tent not long after; hand-in-hand while they picked up items of discarded clothing. The second Sirius had found his wand he had cast a quick cleaning charm on both their bodies and the pairs sand problem was taken care of, for the mean time at least.

  
-

  
The next day had been scorching both in temperature and in activity between the two young men. Barely ten seconds went past when they weren’t touching. From the moment Remus had woken up in the tent a pair of lips had descended on his own or a hand had skimmed his skin in some kind of way. Having the beach all to themselves had been magnificent but they had known it was going to be short lived. A sunset on their privacy loomed and wordlessly they took advantage of that. Several times during that day they had found new ways to extract pleasure out of one another; one boy lying languidly as the other lapped at the other with his mouth or petted with their hands. Before their trip Remus had been what one might class as relatively inexperienced in the sexual encounter department but their moonlight tryst had opened a floodgate in him and he was quickly making up for time; lapping up every new experience with enthusiasm. That’s how the events of their second night had escalated into him doing something he had, at the time, thought he was a long way off experiencing.

  
They had retreated back to the tent with an expectation lapping at their feet. Only one night stood between them and the time of their departure and the end of any convenient privacy. The dark haired boy had lain behind him on top of their sleeping bags and had gone to work on his neck; nibbling and biting and kissing it. Remus had been so mesmerised by the sensation that he had been powerless in undressing himself; luckily his bed partner had been capable and before he knew it they were once again naked and writhing against one another.

  
Sirius slid his arousal between his cheeks experimentally a few times, aided by a spell as Remus attempted to twist his neck to capture his lips with his. He wasn’t successful. Waves of pleasure assaulted him as the nerves at his stimulated entrance were sent haywire, causing him to gasp into the other boy’s mouth instead. Sirius lowered his head and nestled his nose into his hair instead and continued to ride against him. A hand lowered to the inside of Remus’ thighs as Sirius attempted to pull him even tighter against himself.

  
‘Do it!’ The werewolf strained desperately, ‘I want you to do it. I want you in me.’  
Remus smiled at the memory. They hadn’t exactly lasted long but it had been perfect. Sirius had completely overwhelmed his senses and probably within a minute Remus had come. His friend hadn’t been much further behind and had been left a gibbering mess when he had collapsed onto his back. He’d felt a little shell shocked at the intensity and speed of the whole thing. Quick releases weren’t exactly something to be proud of but Sirius had seemed more than satisfied with what had gone down.

  
They had lain in one another’s arm silently for a spell. The intensity in which Sirius had gazed into his eyes had made him feel nervous but he grew used to the scrutiny. He had been desperate to ask him what he had been thinking about but had held off in an attempt to not sound like a total sop. Now, all these years later, he knew what had been running through his mind; what had he done to deserve that moment? It became a topic of wonderment almost every time after they’d shared their bodies with one another. Sirius would often theorise about his luck, often jokingly but Remus knew there had been a sincerity to it. He had often wondered too. What had he done to deserve falling in love with his best mate?

  
The question had changed somewhat in the years since his said best friend had betrayed everyone he apparently cherished and loved…

  
They’d had to leave the following morning. The weather appeared to echo their disappointment with a clouded over sky and a breeze which made it a challenge to fold the tent without magic.

  
‘We should come back here,’ Remus had suggested as they sat on the sand, Sirius tucked between his legs, as they gazed out to sea. He was wearing one of the older boy’s t-shirts and had been secretly thrilled at the fact he had been allowed to wear a visible, if not private, piece of evidence of what they had shared with one another.

  
‘Yeah,’ the dark haired boy had agreed pensively, ‘But only with one another. Never with anyone else. This is our beach Moony. Nobody else’s. It belongs to us.’

 

They never did go back together.

  
*

  
Remus surveyed the ocean in front of him as he thought about this fact and a swell of emotions overtook him. He got to his feet and made his way towards the waves as if being mesmerised by a siren luring him to a watery demise; t-shirt still in hand.

  
It hurt. It hurt. It really did hurt. It had been almost six years since he had lost Sirius. Since he had lost James and Lily and Peter and it all still hurt as much as it had when it had happened. He had kidded himself that he was through with grieving but the truth of the matter was that he had never really grieved at all. Not properly. He had become so stoic in the months after the attack at Godric’s Hollow that he had managed to preserve himself with a numbness. To be the man who had loved the man who had committed possibly the biggest betrayal of the war with Voldemort. How could he have loved a man capable of such cruelty? Because he had loved him; he had loved every part of him so much so that he must have loved the hidden monster within.

  
But it didn’t make sense? It couldn’t make sense. He had never seen a glimpse of that side of Sirius; not even during the boy’s more unpleasant moments. Had he really been that good an actor? Sirius had always functioned with his emotions close to the surface. He may have been susceptible to bouts of ill temper but at least you always knew what you were in for with him. That’s what Remus had always thought, but that?  
For six years the werewolf had felt as if he had been slowly dying of an ache so deep in his heart that it went beyond breaking. Guilt had been painfully eroding his heart in salt; eating away until it felt like it could scarcely function.

  
He loved him. He loved him and the truth was he probably always would and now it was time to face up to that fact right here in the North Sea, right where everything had begun for them. He took a last look at the shirt he had shamefully cherished for years. It was half soaked in the sea water and he brought it to his nose. As he inhaled in he pretended he could still smell that scent; the one he had longed for in the days before they visited this beach; the one he had become drunk on during their days after. He held the lung full of air for as long as he could before exhaling. Then, being the perfect moment to do so, he lowered the shirt down completely into the water for it to be cast out to sea.


End file.
